Thursday, June 7, 2018

Thankful Thursday #48



I am so thankful for so many things everyday.

I love fashion icons.  We, as women, have had our taste in fashion and sense of style influenced by many women.  I think of one in particular, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.  She was a beautiful woman with such a classic style.

My favorite quote comes from her:  "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."

She had children in an era where women weren't expected to be anything more than a mother, but so many strived to be more.

Throughout history, women were supposed to pick up the slack when our country was at war and the men were busy fighting.  When the wars were over and men returned, women were supposed to go back to the home.  But, so many women found out they could provide for their family and could be more than just a housewife.

Women have always struggled with caring for the family and pursuing other talents and abilities.

The women in my family have been housewives, but filled other roles as well.  Many have worked outside the home while taking care of their family.

Today, the roles of men are different.  They are expected to help out more with housework and taking care of the kids.  Some men are the ones who stay home while their wives work.  Although times have changed, I still feel like if the house is a wreck or the children are a mess most of the time the woman is still looked to as if it is her sole responsibility.

There are a lot of women who are business owners, entrepreneurs, and in roles once only held by men.  Young girls have a lot of role models to look up to today.  The pressure is still there, though.  Perhaps the guilt for not being a stay at home mom and "putting the kids first." For some women, divorce has forced them into the workforce.  Others find a passion that becomes a business, and sometimes, an empire.

I am thankful for the many women who paved the way in the workforce.  My grandmother has always worked.  She has done so many things.  I always say I get my confidence for trying something new from her.  She has done real estate, owned a hair salon, taught ceramic making in her basement for just a few.

Every once in a while we get someone like Kate Spade to serve as a role model and example.  After creating her brand, she chose to sell and stay home with her daughter.  I don't care how successful you are, there is still that nagging feeling that we are supposed to be at home. I don't regret a single day I was a stay at home mom.  I chose to get a degree in education so I could have the same schedule as my kids. That was 24 years ago. After becoming a single mom and not having any work experience, my daughter paid attention and is looking for a career that will allow her to be home some with her kids, but so that she won't be in the same situation as me if she were to end up being a single mom.  This is how times and society has changed.

It is sad that a lot of women put so much pressure on themselves. It has always been tough but with social media it has just gone overboard.  I love reading young fashion blogs, but the pressure to be perfect and do everything is just too much.  We shouldn't put that much pressure on ourselves and we shouldn't judge each other if we admit to being overwhelmed.  We shouldn't compete with one another, but be supportive and understanding. We can have the appearance of being perfect, but sooner or later that facade is going to fade and we end up feeling lonely, but it doesn't have to be that way. 

I have always heard that kids don't remember a perfectly kept house, they remember a fun childhood. That is easier said than done in today's pressures of looking like you are doing everything and keeping all balls in the air.

Mental illness is a real thing and I am so thankful there isn't the stigma attached to it that was for years.  It isn't something to be embarrassed about.  So many people deal with anxiety and depression.  I don't know if it is a bigger problem today or it is just more talked about.  The pressures of daily life are definitely more than ever.  It is completely understandable that women get anxiety and feel overwhelmed.  Especially in a world where it looks like everyone else is succeeding while you may be barely getting everything accomplished. We need to get real and put aside the pressure to look perfect. 

That is one wonderful thing about getting older.  You don't let expectations bother you so much. Through experience, you have learned what to stress over and what just isn't a big of a deal as you once thought it was.

I am thankful for so many women who have taken on the burden of pressures and paved the way for so many.  While we have seen the successes, there are many aspect of sacrifices and stress we didn't see.

You just never know what someone is going through.  Kate Spade was always so put together and such a successful person, it was surprising what she was really dealing with. Or, was it?

I was talking about National Day of Prayer about a month ago. Every day is a National Day of something.  It would be wonderful to have one day (at least) for women to get real.  Don't show what is perfect, show what is a real struggle for you.  Whether it's a messy kitchen or something more serious I think it would make so much more of an impact than showing what "appears" to be perfect.

What do you think?



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